Thoughtful Accumulation

 Riley 

a little study, one small step

Riley  |  20 x 20 cm  | Acrylic on Canvas

Hi bloggers! It's been ah.. well it's been half a year. I'll update where I'm at at the moment, and then fill in the rest of the year in a different post!

I finished a large marbles commission last weekend, it took me a month and a half, and while I was working on that we had what we'll just call some "family drama" Understatement of the decade. So rather a bit of stress. And I already have two group shows lined up for early next year, I need to produce work for that, but I'm wrecked. Emotionally wreckedness leads to physically wreckedness and that's no good.

SO while I was waiting for a canvas to be made, I decided to continue my learning. If you've journeyed with me for a while, you probably know that photo realism isn't my goal. I have finally embraced the fact that my paintings are photo realistic, but I want more. Completing a realistic still life is the absolute best feeling in the world, sitting back and seeing what you've made is the most satisfying, complete feeling. 
But I miss painting as expression. And painting as exploration. So I started making paintings that are a little looser in between serious work, and it's just terribly enjoyable. 

So with my tummy in knots and head achy, my neck all bunched up and just a storm in my brain, I picked up a discarded canvas and opened up one of my favourite paintings of someone I very much look up to, and just tried to replicate her brush strokes, her sense of movement and colour and in half a day I got rid of all my heaviness. I lost myself in painting. And I remembered why I chose painting. So, on a high from that 'success' - and the sudden clarity and excitement, I sent a message to my friends to forward me photos of their kids, 'cause I'm going to be making a ton of little portraits, might as well make some that people want to keep! (needless to sau I got a LOT of photos!)

And this is my first attempt: Riley. 
So the tricky thing is that I could make gorgeous marks and exciting colour play with my first experiment, because it was just an anonymous head. But when it comes to capturing a likeness, my brain reverted back to what it knows, and my hand would just automatically pick up small brushes again. I would have to paint over detail, lose detail to get back brush strokes. And that delicate balance is everything. But this is just the beginning :) I love this little portrait, but it's very much more my usual style than what I'm striving for.

To give you an idea of what I love, check out Jennifer Balkan and Benjamin Bjorklund. This is what my heart yearns for. It's more than portraiture, it's skill and expression, and it's play. 
Eventually I would love to become a full on figurative painter, and create large dramatic dioramas in the vein of Pamela Wilson and Natalia Fabia but I have much to learn before then. Also my studio is about 5 times too small! Babysteps.

For your trouble, have some process:

That's all folks <3